Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
