why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
