Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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