Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
