so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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