Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We have so much sex to catch up on
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
