SEEEEXXX PLEASE
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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