if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize