i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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