"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
and she was petting her beer can
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
