i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
