69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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