This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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