So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
