can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
