so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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