Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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