i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
