Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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