I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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