its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize