Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Do you still have your period?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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