Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
