I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
