So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
