I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm passing your future prison.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
