Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
