i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
worst night to have a conscience
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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