Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
