I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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