i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
