I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
