White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
