How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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