the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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