I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
