hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
