Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
