Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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