i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
