I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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