dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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