Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I think I died a long time ago.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
