i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
