Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
