i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
