You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
