Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
