Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize
