Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize
