adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
