5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
40s are totally the cure
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
