So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
