HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
