i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
