So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
