Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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