I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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