she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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