i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
that may or may not have been my penis.
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