I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
