so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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