In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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